31 Days to Live Like it's Your Last: Day 7

Pumpkin getting his soccer trophy with his coach far right.

Monkey getting his trophy :)

I didn't make my list yet did you?  

I woke up with a munchkin in my bed and an urgency to get ready for church.

Pumpkin not feeling well so he stayed home.

Up fed and out the door still arriving late for church and yet enjoying it.

Home for lunch and then off again to go downtown for a festival with my family and Mr. A while the boys slept.

Then in the sudden pouring rain picked up and rushed off to soccer for the trophies and cupcakes.  The boys were feeling better....until afterwards.

Both boys now have fevers and we are home with dinner cooking a good soak in the shower and jammies all around then dinner and a cuddling with a movie.  Brushing of teeth and then off to bed.

Another of those good but simple days.  

My body is starting to ache and feel a bit feverish I'm thinking of all that I have to do.

Not only schooling of the kids, feeding their always hungry growing bodies, cleaning, laundry, bill paying, and more but now I must also live like it's my last day.  

I wonder who thought of this and yet I remember that it was me. 

Me sitting here thinking about my cousin leaving us so soon.  My uncle's, grandpa, sister, and more.

Me thinking about my friends daughter fighting the leukemia and my blogging sister who lost her husband and is working with her two young sons to find their new normal.

I thought of this.

I wanted to be prepared.

What drove me?

Am I afraid?

I am.  

I'm afraid that I haven't done enough or been enough.

I'm afraid that they won't know how much I love them.

Is that what we all fear when we think of our own ending?  Do others think of their ending or find it to morbid?

I've heard that so many times.

 "Why are you talking about this now it's so morbid."

or

"Why do you think like that you have plenty of time"

but

I may not.

You may not.

Shouldn't we face it all now?  Even our fears?

Shouldn't we try to find out what means the most to ourselves and our families? 

I know we have our life insurance in place for a reason.

I've heard that's morbid too.

Let me tell you it's not.  It's a life saver.  Maybe not your own but for those who you leave behind.

One day maybe not for a long time but one day they'll need it and be thankful.

I'm about to stop making sense with this headache and fever pressing in on me 

so I'll leave you with this

are you afraid?

Do you think this to morbid?

If you look at the other end of the last day I'm asking you to live.

I'm asking you to grab your life and lead it.

Let me know what you are doing.  Let me know that you to want to know when you go that you were really here and that you lived out your moments.

That you did the things that were important to yourself and to those around you that you love the most.

Love,

Mommaraff