31 Days to Live Like it's Your Last: Day 14

I missed yesterdays post.  

I didn't even realize it until this morning. 

I will write two today to make up for it :)

Anyways yesterday was a long day.  My husband has been trying to make some extra

cash working at a haunted house this year

and he's been getting in so late that we are just exhausted.

The boys and I have started going to church on Wednesday nights and it's been a lot of fun.

Monkey has been practicing for a concert on Sunday so we went to that church instead of our normal one (our normal one does not have Wednesday night services)

It was so cute!

They sung three songs before heading back for Sunday school.

Yes his shirt is buttoned wrong....I didn't notice until after lol.  Important thing is that he can button all by himself now right?

After church we headed to my parent's to help my mom work on her mantle she's putting in.  After that we had to run straight to our life group.  It was a good night there but there is a but.

All I can say is it lead to a late night and yet a good conversation

with my husband.

Marriage is work.

Love is a choice.

We have problems but we have chosen to keep working through them and that has brought us closer and although painful at times I enjoy the moments where things really open up

and we get closer.

If your having problems please know that your not alone and if your both willing to put the work into it you can have a good marriage.  This is not for those being abused though.  You my friend need to get out.  No matter what others are saying around you!  

If you want to work it out with them get out and have them go to counseling.  After counseling his counseling then it's time to go to a counselor together.  

While doing counseling together it's also time to date.

You don't just go back please time and again it's done and things revert back.  They need the counseling and you need to work out a new pattern of behavior.

After dating continue counseling as premarital counseling.

Finally leading to moving in together again but don't be afraid to leave again if things have not changed even after all that.  Not everyone will change even though it might seem like they have.
This being said please seek help before even deciding to go to counseling with the one abusing you man or woman.  You might not be safe to even try.

I feel more alive when my husband and I peel back our layers and really look at ourselves and each other.  No I'm not talking clothing layers but our emotional selves and our motives and dreams.
We all have layers and it's wonderful
to find someone and to develop the relationship to be able to peel those layers back.

My challenge today is to have a real talk with your spouse and peel back some layers.  Maybe you haven't spent much time together or are fighting.  I encourage you to get real with them and allow them to get real with you.
It may sound selfish or morbid again but if I go first I want my husband
to miss me.
I want him to mourn for a bit because I'm gone.
I want to have lived so fully with him that he feels my absence.
Of course later I'd want him to move on but I'd like to not be a little bump and he's fine.
That does happen when you drift to far apart.
You forget how much that person means to you.
Try not to let that happen to you or if it has try to go back and remember what it is that you love about your spouse.  If you have to start really really small.  like you love that he has teeth or a smile.  You will build up on it and feel some hard layers come off as you take down some invisible barriers.
Seek your spouses heart and love today.
Live in it.

Love,
Mommaraff