31 Days to Live Like it's Your Last: Day 10

Three soldiers died in a suicide bombing. It gets me thinking about how much they give up to fight for us.  Not just the ultimate sacrifice of their life but of the living that gets sacrificed.  We don't hear about that to much.  I have a lot of military friends and family and that's one of the things they talk about.  They talk about the pride and the waiting.  They prepare things for their spouses to come home too and count down days with their children.  They also talk about the loneliness and how much the spouse is missing.  They give birth, rejoice over school plays, send children off to school for the first time, patch up scrapped knees and wounded hearts, watch their children get married, lose a family member, end up in the hospital, and so much more all alone.  They are the brave frontier holding down the fort while their significant others are off fighting for our freedom.  Like the war or military or not you must at least respect these brave men and women, sons, daughters, wives, husbands, cousins, and more.  They belong to someone and those numbers being posted are a loved one lost.

This brings me around to my topic tonight.  It's about the three soldiers and how much their families along with them have given up.  When a soldier dies we thank them with a bowed head and a moment of silence at least some of us do.  We forget those soldiers I just mentioned that are on the home front.  We forget the breaking hearts when they hear the news that the one they love is gone.  We forget the little girl walking down the aisle without her daddy.  We forget the little boy at his football games without dad to cheer him on.  Lets take some time and remember them.  Lets remember all our soldiers at home and abroad.  Lets remember those that have passed on whether in battle or later.  Lets think about all the living and all the loving that goes on in those families even though they may be apart.

Let me say that unlike some certain people think God does love our men and women in uniform.  He loves them more than anyone else and he does not hate them.  He may hate a sin someone committed but he does not hate his people.  Those that pass on the message of hate are only going after their own agenda and not God's heart.  I needed to say that I need you to understand that just in case you've heard it and think either God hates our men and women in the military or think that God is hateful.  God is love.  God does not hate his people but loves them and his one goal is to win them over so that we may go and live with him.

On Friday I go to stand in love for a fallen soldier and I will block out the hateful messages of one group of people.  I will shield and support these soldiers here at home and the one who has returned to us in body only.  His sacrifice is not in vain and we will show them that we care.

Thank you for being here with me.  Do not post messages of hate on here I will delete them.  You may disagree but do not be hateful.

Be blessed today and my you have not a happy day tomorrow but a joy filled one.

Mommaraff.

31 Days to LIve Like it's Your Last Day: Day 3

      Today started off rough.  I woke up excited to be going to MOPS.  A friend had offered me a ride late last night and so I hadn't told the kids yet.  They were all in my bed when I opened my eyes.  I was a little surprised but told them all to get dressed we were going to MOPS.  They were so excited and scampered off to get dressed.  They put on button ups and nice shorts then meet me in the kitchen.
       This is where I found out one of our dogs had pooped in their kennel in the night and I had taken him out to go just before I went to bed.  He had also peed.  The smell was awful.  I took the dogs out while my son tried to clean it up a bit then I gave him the stinky dog to bathe while I hosed out the kennel and cleaned up.  Gross.  If this was my last morning I'd want a refund :P the rest went much better though.  I made pancakes and we got ready on time then off to MOPS.
        For those that don't know MOPS stands for Mothers of Preschoolers it's where moms get together and talk, have speakers, eat some breakfast/snack, do a craft, and relax.  The kids go in to their classes and have a lot of fun.  I so appreciate the ride and they will be trying to come get me for everyone at least until we get a second car!  I love these ladies we have a lot of fun and today we made fleece blankets for the Linus Project which brings them to children who have been in a trauma, have been abused, are ill, and they bring them to fire departments, newborn babies (although not the fleece ones they need some that have batting in them), and police departments.  We did the same thing last year and I really loved it.
        If today were my last day aside from the dog mess it would have been a good one.  What is it that you feel you need to have or do to make your day worth it?  I feel like once we figure that out we can figure out a lot of things in our lives.  It will help us pick our jobs, treat our children the way we want to and should, do more things that we love, and love those that we really do l love.  That's my challenge for you today.  Figure out what it is that would make your last day worth it and I mean do some serious thinking and get to the heart of what you want after all the extravagant things. and see what it is that makes you happy and keeps you ticking.  It's what will fill your cup and lighten your spirit.
         If you haven't already guessed mine these last few days it's family, friends, and people in general.  God has given me his heart for His people.  I'm not perfect and I don't always show love but it is what brings me joy as only he can.

Have a great day 3 see you here tomorrow!

With love,

Mommaraff

Here's the website for MOPS so you can read more about them and also find one in your area to get connected!  http://www.mops.org/

A picture of my boys making some homemade tortillas a little while back :)

Pruning

Off and on for the past week I have been pruning the rose bushes in the back yard.  They have beat me up!  I am scratched, poked, and tired.  The rose bushes are looking pretty beat up themselves but way less wild and much smaller.  I can't wait to see the completed end result.  There was so much dead stuff under the roses I actually have put in a cumulative 7 hours into the rose bushes and I am still not done.  The weather keeps preventing me from completing them. 

As I was pruning and found all the dead stuff I thought about myself as a person and how God is constantly having to prune me.  At some points I had to cut away living stuff because it have grown wild and the rose bush had entangled itself into another one and I was unable to get to the dead stuff underneath.  They were killing each other not allowing any sun to the others.  There had also began some rot on several branches and some roots.  I cut off the dead branches and pulled out the plants with the rotted roots.  Isn't this just what God does with us?  He prunes us of our bad habits, actions, thoughts, and sometimes he even pulls out the parts that are living sometimes because they are over extending us and not allowing us to focus on what we need to or sometimes even not allowing someone else near us to shine.  I do believe that sometimes we take on to much and God says woah pull back some because he knows we need a break and he has the perfect person to take over.  I think that in all things we need to relax more and when things come along or are taken away from us we need to look to God because everything comes from him.


(I just found this post hiding out in my drafts section from over a year ago. I'm just posting it in it's rawness and leaving it as it is.)

Separation of Heads, Hands, and Feet

The reasons that I loved my mini van are becoming even more solidified in my mind now that I don't have one and I am stuck in a small car.  We have only been all squished in the car twice now and both times it has been for a long drive (long being an hour and about 15-25 minutes) and I hate it.  I find myself praying for my tax money so that I can buy a new van!!!  The boys usually sit separated.  My hubby and I sit up front, Pumpkin sits in the middle by himself, Monkey sits by the door in the back and Mr. A sits by the window in the back so that there is a whole middle seat between them.  There is no touching aloud!! 

Sure my dreams of my children riding in the car with each other in the beginning were beautiful.  A sweet Mr. A would loving play with his little brother and they would be best friends in the car but as baby Monkey was sleeping Mr. A would poke him and plug his nose (he was only two and a half at the time) so I began separating them in our little KIA as best I could.  When baby Pumpkin arrived we had bought a van for him.  There was no way the three car seats would fit in our car.  So I thought the kids could now sit together....do we ever learn?  The two older boys began fighting.  'He's touching my car seat!', 'he's poking me', 'he's putting his head on me', 'mom he's kicking me', 'mom he won't stop breathing on me', and so many other variations of personal space violation over load that I had to once again separate them.   Bye -bye dreams of brotherly entertainment.  I should have know seeing as how I myself have three brothers and three sisters but I thought it would be different crickets should go off right now at my ignorance with child behavior. 

I was on this awful trip (children behavior wise) today to take hubby to a meeting and then find something to do while we wait when I began to feel the overwhelming frustration with the kids.  It suddenly brought me to the Israelites and how they did nothing but complain.  No matter what God did for them they just found something else to complain about.  Just like today's "Boys hands off of each other", "but mom he's breathing on me", Monkey look towards the window and stop panting on your brother", "mom now his butt is squishing me", there is no fixing this it just becomes something else.  God must have felt that way when he decided to let the Israelites wander in the desert for forty years.  He must have seen the endless years of complaining and whining and said 'hey, no, I am not doing this, when you guys have been wandering and learned your lesson then we will see.  Catch ya in forty years.  Yes they did more than whine they also worshiped Idols, and disobeyed at every turn but I really think the whining was more than enough to drive God to discipline his people I'm just saying :). 

I hope that I do find a van shortly and can once again regain peace ahhh peace.  I will never complain about have a van again!!  I will thank God for it everyday!  Catch me if you see me complaining because I'm going to work on thankfulness.  Starting with I am thankful to have the car we have right now because without we wouldn't be able to go to the doctor's or our friends birthday party that we went to today.  I am thankful because I am willing to learn and grow from the things that happen in my life.  I am thankful because I am.  I am thankful that I have my children and that they are healthy and even have the ability to argue.  I am thankful for my hubby.  I am thankful.  I will continue to think on these things and find something to be thankful everyday and to stop complaining so much :)

Thanks for reading!  What are you thankful for today?

High's and Low's

Before moving into my parent's house we had a nightly tradition with our boys.  At dinner time we would always ask what their high of the day was and what their low was.  Since moving in here we have only done it a few times.  It's really hard to keep up on it with so many people coming and going at all times.  A lot of the time we don't sit down to family dinners any more.
 
Tonight after filling the boys plates and then my own I began to walk toward the couch when I thought about the highs and lows tradition.  I turned around and sat with my boys at the table it was just the four of us at the time and I asked 'so what where your highs and lows today'.  Monkey was first and he said his high was when he was allowed to get up from his nap.  His low was when he got in a fight with Mr. A over his bike. 

Mr. A was next his high was getting to play with his friends at the Mom's group today.  His low was also the fight he got into with his brother over the bike.  He was ashamed of himself for his jealousy and then for his actions.  He was kicking the handlebars of his brothers bike while he was trying to ride it.  I had asked him if he had asked Monkey if he could ride it.  Mr. A's sad little voice said 'no'.  He had went over to his brother and apologized and the two had sat cuddled on the couch playing Leapster. 

Back to dinner time, I told the boys that my high today was going to the Mom's group and my low was also their fighting and it had made me sad.  I then asked what they could do better tomorrow.  Monkey said he would try to go to go to sleep faster at nap time.  Mr. A said that he would try to be nicer.  I said that I would try to not yell so much tomorrow.  I have missed this ritual.  It's a time for us to reflect on what we have done and see what is important to each other and what really has been a let down for them.  I am so amazed by their answers and have so many 'ahha they are listening' moments during this time.  I love getting to be a part of their hearts and minds.  I think that this is how our heavenly father feels.  He is waiting for us to sit down uninterrupted with him so that he can listen to our highs and lows for the day.  One of our rules is that you have to have a high but a low is optional if they can't think of any.  Their high can be something so little like 'my high is this dinner' but there has to be one. We are usually really good about giving God our lows but we need to tell him our highs too.  Life is so full of both sides it's a roller coaster for sure.  We need to be able to say 'thank you so much for my high today God' so that our lows don't become our main focus.   I hope to teach my boys to be thankful even on a day when they really can't think of anything good.  Our minds should lead our hearts.  If your not feeling thankful for your highs maybe it's because you haven't been diligently looking for them.  It helps when you know that at dinner someone is going to ask you and you have to have an answer.  (I find this makes me think much more about my highs because when those little faces look at me I want to have a ready answer so I can be a good example).  Dinner tomorrow?  Yep we will be at the table together and once again I will ask 'what's your high and low?'

So friends...what is your high and low for today?

Change is on the Horizon

I was thinking that I really ought to stop posting on my blog so late!  After an entire day with the children, animals, homeschool, and the myriad of everything else and everyone else I deal with/do I really seem unable to type./spell!  I have been reading over some of my posts (after someone comments I try to read my posts to see what they saw and what they are referring to specifically) and I need to type earlier my brain shuts down a lot sooner then I post.  Spell check can only do so much.  Another thing that I have been thinking about is changing up my blog.  I have just been updating everyone on our life over here but I'd like to do more (maybe it's my writers heart or maybe my short attention span...anyways..).  I'd like to really let you guys in on my struggles as a parent, homeschooler, mother, and some of the many other hats I wear.  This might be where I lose some of you readers as whats in my heart is God and I'm going to try to relate and create my life more around him.  I really need to work on that.  I need to see my life more from God's perspective!  I've been a christian for well all of my life except I have not lived as one all the time.  There was high school when my baby sister died and I went of the deep end with depression and some aggression (we'll not mention the Harley shirts and baggy jeans!).  I blamed God and tried to run away from him while he with his patience just kept gently tugging me back.  It's so true no matter what he never lets go.  There have been other times...times I am to embarrassed to even mention.  No matter what we are human and we can get ugly no one is immune to the power and temptation of ugly!  Ugly is what we call the actions our children make that we cringe at like the typical child's "harrumph" at the thought of not getting their way and we say "that was a really ugly sound you need to change that and use your words"  Ugly is what I think sometimes when I am not getting my way and ugly is what I sometimes say in the heat of a moment.  I have been ugly.  I hope to grow and to become stronger so that I can resist the temptation of ugly.  I am so glad that he never lets me go!  

 So welcome to my crazy life and my soon to be revamped blog!  I am going to try to change the top and some buttons to make it more visually appealing also.  I can't wait!  As a side note for those who do just want to read what has been going on in my life as I have been doing, I will still be adding in an extra post to do just that.  How I will do it is the question.  Whether it will be weekly or daily still I am unsure so stay tuned.

Have a great night and I will be seeing you shortly!

First Post in November What did I learn this year

Ahhh first post in November maybe this month will go a lot better for posts don't hold your breath though lol.  I had a busy month in October.  There was my in laws and parents anniversary's, Brennen turned two and I turned 27, Halloween, and a bunch of other things.  So what did this last year of life teach me hmm... I'm not sure probably not enough.  I feel like I wasted this past year.  I can't really remember anything that I've done that was worth anything....except taking care of my children which I know is a big deal it's just that there feels like there should be more another year is gone off of my life and I didn't do anything.  That includes spending down time where I just think and relax close off the working part of my brain and the distracted by electronics part and just be.  I need to just be more.  I remember as a young girl sitting for hours and just being.  I would lie in the grass and look up at the sky just feeling everything..the way the grass softly tickled me in its little dance with the wind, the wind as it swept across me off to some far away places I only dreamt of, the airplanes taking people to their loved ones and I wondered where they looking down on me?  Did they see any of it?  The farm house?  The Barn?  What were they thinking about?  I just was and I haven't done that in so long that I'm afraid I don't know how anymore.  I feel like I need a babysitter for a half hour so that I can just go be.  I could go be in the woods listening to what the trees whisper to me, feel the pine needles under my feet, wonder at the beauty as the sun is splintering down on me through the canopy.  Then I would feel rejuvenated and ready to take on more as I am centered back into my self and the world that God has made.  I wonder if this is something I could teach my children...and if so how would I go about it...individually take them or try to get them all at once to lie in the grass and listen to the crickets dancing song? 

I feel as though I kinda got off track with that topic obviously its something important to me :) so what else about this year...I did learn to just try things jump on in I'm still not that good at it but I am putting myself out there more and i am learning a lot about myself and other people.  I learned that we are all a little judgemental, we all gossip even though we think we are just talking or just helping out someone, we all are a little afraid of putting ourselves out there, and we all love someone.  Even the cranky man across the way loves something.  I learned to look into the heart of people and see their hurt and let it reflect back into me so that I can respond more lovingly then I ever would have before.  This is still a work in progress and I believe will be for the rest of my life because there are people that just rub me wrong and I know I need to see them in the love but I stubbornly just keep ignoring it maybe this year I can learn to love those that I really don't like right now.

I have learned that I still need to hug my six year old all the time because he still loves it and he needs that more than just every now and then he needs it everyday several times a day.  He gets a goofy grin and I know that All is right with him.  I want my boys to know that no matter what I will always love them and they are never to big for me to show it (embarrassing or not lol watch our teenage years :P)

I've learned that I am not a super mom and that's all right because no one is and it's good to not be alone.  There may be a mom out there somewhere who bathes her kids every night, finds time to read them several stories every night, never raises her voice, never has to chase her kids out of grandmothers trees, never has to remind them that cats don't like to have their tails pulled and dogs don't like to be hit, and if she is then star stickers to her but I'm betting she's not.  I believe that children are the iron that sharpens us we are so flimsy or to tough before kids and they come along to melt you just the right way but harden you in the right way also.

I've learned that when God is silent I need to just wait it out because he will move again but I need to wait for his time because his time is perfect and mine well mine burnt the kids cookies yesterday.

This year I hope to learn so much more than this year including how to enjoy my years more fully that doesn't mean I need more money or I need to go out more or have more stuff but I need to breath and I need to hold my family and I need to make God the center more so than ever.  I want this year to be the best so far :)