Randomness leading to character

It's been a long tough year for us as some of you know. I am really excited because of the move. I am hoping we will get to start over and refresh ourselves. Moving brings about all sorts of new challenges though especially when your moving two combined households. Money is always the number one thing to begin the arguing. Who is spending what where and who spent the most or saved the most. It can become quite draining. Money as the root of all evil? I would say it's quite true. Whether it be lack of, want of, or having to much it all causes problems. I would like to know why we went with money and did away with bartering. It seems so much better when I look back. All I would need is a trade of some sort and I could barter it out and feed and clothe my family. Yes times were hard but I also think that they understood that and helped each other a lot more back then than they do now. All my struggles that I encounter in my life I hope God uses to touch someone else and show them that they are not alone and no one is perfect. I know I'm jumping around here but we'll just have to call this post random thoughts of an over worked mind :). I really feel overworked where my head is considered. I barely have time for processing and so I end up doing it in my sleep or rather when I am suppose to be sleeping. I haven't had a good night sleep in about a week now.

I haven't been using a very nice tone in about a year now. Sometimes I feel like my old angst filled self from high school that I had thought was ling gone. I realize now that my old self is just me being overwhelmed and not understood. I get that way when I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough or seen and when my feelings are not validated no matter how right or wrong they are. When I get this way I have found that I begin to treat other people like how I feel. Since I now realize this I have been trying to change it. There is a verse I read about being slow to speak and quick to listen and it really is something I need to work on because when I feel unheard I stop listening as well and the arguing starts not very biblical huh? There is also the one about being slow to anger yes I need to really practice this one. Living with others can really tax our reserves of all our good qualities and values. Some examples kindness, goodness, patience, good listener, loving, caring, hard working, speaking uplifting words, etc. All things I need more practice in. I have often wondered why I ended up living here with my parents and siblings and why my husband became ill all to no avail. I didn't need an answer what I was really looking for was something to work towards or keep my spirit up well I have finally found it...ready for my answer...ok I already told you in many more words but it's character training! Yep that's it. How can I train the characte of my children if I am so faulty? Yes I will always be faulty because only God is perfect but I should always dhow improvement and be willing to admit when I have done wrong. I want my children to be men of honor and they can't do that without having good character and they can't get that without a good example phew. Ok so here I am completely messed up and imperfect and here I go to reach for my goal because with God as my lamp on my path I cannot fail.

Ok so here is my completely random mixed up post typed up on my iPod while trying to get the children to nap lol. I hope it atleast helps one person out there one day.

Character and Other Thoughts

Brennen's eye is still crossed what did we expect?  Nothing honestly although there are moments where I wish that bopping him in the head again would make his eye go back to normal.  Tomorrow the doctors will be back and we will go in for a check up and see what can be done about it.  I hope they don't tell me to wait until he's older.  I really believe that the sooner things are done the quicker and better they are fixed.  After all his body is still forming if he needs to do therapy or have the surgery now would be better before he gets it more set.  If they tell me to wait I think I might research some more and see what other doctors say and see if there's anything we can do at home to help it.  They say that it can cause blindness in that eye that is the thing I am most concerned about!

The other boys are doing fine we are all still getting over our colds but I am feeling a lot better today.  I think just a couple more days and I will be out there doing my walks again.  Today my mother wants me to help in the rose garden.  The roses are already blooming and need to be taken care of before they get out of hand.  There are a lot of roses here!  I can't wait for the plums to start growing again I want to make some plum jams and preservatives.  I would like to learn how to can.  I also want to plant a vegetable garden but  I don't know how.  A book I want to get on how to is called 'The Square Foot Garden'.  I'll keep you posted on that.

I can't wait for summer which is a new thing for me I hate to be hot!  I am excited because of all the things I want to do this year.  The gardening, the horses, the chickens might be old enough to start hatching, the roses, the plums, and so much more I really am excited!

I don't know if I mentioned the book Character Matters by Thomas Lickona.  I started reading it a few days ago and I am loving it.  One of the main reasons I am homeschooling is to build my sons character.  I believe that it is the most important part of any person.  What do you have without good character?  I am raising adults not children.  Yes they are children and they play and do childhood things but I am not saying 'oh boys will be boys' or 'oh that's just something kids do' no when they do something wrong or mean I let them know.  We talk about why it was wrong and what I expect of them.  They know what the difference between right and wrong are.  I am reading this book to give me ideas on how to build their character even more and by extension and maybe even more important is how to build my own character.  We are all works in progress and everything I do with my kids I am hoping to learn and implement myself so that I can be a better person.  This book says that the Greeks believed the most important virtue is wisdom because without wisdom how would you know how to use the other virtues?  How would you know what to do when the virtues sometimes contradict each other which does happen?  So I agree.  Wisdom, Lord I pray that I develop more wisdom!  I am a flawed woman.

Well the roses are calling my name!  I need to get busy I have lots to do today!  I hope you have a great day :)

This is the carrot cake my hubby made us last night.  Why?  He felt like it :)  I was so yummy.  He googled best carrot cakes and this one came out on top.  I have to agree it was very yummy!  Probably fattening too but once in awhile is fine.  http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/best-carrot-cake-ever/Detail.aspx This is the where he got the recipe.  We use allrecipes.com often.  I like it better than searching through a bunch of cookbooks.  I even have the app on my ipod. 

 This is Bren with his new crossed eye.  as you can tell it's pretty bad.  It is not all the time though it comes and goes today he doesn't seem to be having as much of a problem with it as he did the past few days.  I hope he can get it fixed an honest bad mommy confession: it freaks me out and is hard to look at.  No I don't love him any less it's just hard to see him struggle and how weirded out he is and on top of everything else it's just something else hard to deal with.  On the scale of what can be wrong with your children we are very lucky and I'm grateful it's not anything worse!  P.S. He is trying to potty train himself so he was in rubber underwear with regular underwear underneath.  He thinks the toilet is the most awesome thing in the world.  I don't think he is developmentally ready because he can't hold it but I don't mind letting him try it out.  His T-shirt says 'I still live with my parents' :)