31 Days to Live Like it's Your Last: Day 15

Pumpkin dressed himself to go to church one Sunday.

I didn't have the heart to make him change.  

I want my children to have confidence in the things they do themselves.  

So this is how he went.

What do you think?

I've been reminded that marriage needs to have some silliness in it.  

I understand that this is not about marriage but it's one of the big things in my life and a something I'm living my life through so for those that are unmarried please muddle on with me.

I used to do a lot of silly things with my husband 

but since becoming a mom

I've taken myself to seriously in the adult world.

I'm still sometimes silly with the children but I have forgotten to lighten up with the adults.

Yes it was worth the repeat.

I believe some of you may be in the same position.

Part of me living out my days is to get to be me all the way

and a huge part of me is silly.

Not irresponsible silliness that leads down the wrong path but 

just playful and happy silliness.

Join with me 

in rediscovering your silly side.

Do everything backwards tomorrow or dress ridiculous, play a silly game with your children, leave a silly message for your husband just find way to your fun side!

Love,

Mommaraff

31 Days to Live Like it's Your Last: Day 14

I missed yesterdays post.  

I didn't even realize it until this morning. 

I will write two today to make up for it :)

Anyways yesterday was a long day.  My husband has been trying to make some extra

cash working at a haunted house this year

and he's been getting in so late that we are just exhausted.

The boys and I have started going to church on Wednesday nights and it's been a lot of fun.

Monkey has been practicing for a concert on Sunday so we went to that church instead of our normal one (our normal one does not have Wednesday night services)

It was so cute!

They sung three songs before heading back for Sunday school.

Yes his shirt is buttoned wrong....I didn't notice until after lol.  Important thing is that he can button all by himself now right?

After church we headed to my parent's to help my mom work on her mantle she's putting in.  After that we had to run straight to our life group.  It was a good night there but there is a but.

All I can say is it lead to a late night and yet a good conversation

with my husband.

Marriage is work.

Love is a choice.

We have problems but we have chosen to keep working through them and that has brought us closer and although painful at times I enjoy the moments where things really open up

and we get closer.

If your having problems please know that your not alone and if your both willing to put the work into it you can have a good marriage.  This is not for those being abused though.  You my friend need to get out.  No matter what others are saying around you!  

If you want to work it out with them get out and have them go to counseling.  After counseling his counseling then it's time to go to a counselor together.  

While doing counseling together it's also time to date.

You don't just go back please time and again it's done and things revert back.  They need the counseling and you need to work out a new pattern of behavior.

After dating continue counseling as premarital counseling.

Finally leading to moving in together again but don't be afraid to leave again if things have not changed even after all that.  Not everyone will change even though it might seem like they have.
This being said please seek help before even deciding to go to counseling with the one abusing you man or woman.  You might not be safe to even try.

I feel more alive when my husband and I peel back our layers and really look at ourselves and each other.  No I'm not talking clothing layers but our emotional selves and our motives and dreams.
We all have layers and it's wonderful
to find someone and to develop the relationship to be able to peel those layers back.

My challenge today is to have a real talk with your spouse and peel back some layers.  Maybe you haven't spent much time together or are fighting.  I encourage you to get real with them and allow them to get real with you.
It may sound selfish or morbid again but if I go first I want my husband
to miss me.
I want him to mourn for a bit because I'm gone.
I want to have lived so fully with him that he feels my absence.
Of course later I'd want him to move on but I'd like to not be a little bump and he's fine.
That does happen when you drift to far apart.
You forget how much that person means to you.
Try not to let that happen to you or if it has try to go back and remember what it is that you love about your spouse.  If you have to start really really small.  like you love that he has teeth or a smile.  You will build up on it and feel some hard layers come off as you take down some invisible barriers.
Seek your spouses heart and love today.
Live in it.

Love,
Mommaraff

31 Days to Live Like it's Your Last Day: Day 4

     

                                        Mr A, Monkey, and Pumpkin on the beach




        I am not full of inspiration today.  It's one of those days that are just so so and if it were my last it would have been a fine day but not a great one.  Yesterday was a great day.
       After MOPS and naps it was time for football practice where Monkey played while I sat with Mr. A on the sidelines while he read.  Afterwards we went to Wednesday night church at a church we used to visit but haven't been back to since just after Christmas last year.  They have a new children's pastor and she greeted Mr. A and I in the hall.  We wrote the boys birthdays on her birthday calendar and talked for awhile she was really friendly.  She has some African objects from her trip there and says she would love to talk with us about Africa.  I think I know what country we will be studying here soon!
      After church we stopped at the store and got a few groceries and come home to have sub sandwiches and laugh together around the table.  The night finished off with my husband and I enjoying time together.  I'd say a good successful day.  It makes today in all it's uninspiring slowness seem fitting.  Tomorrow we will be off again to go to Co-op and my parents house so I'll soak in this relaxing and enjoy it.  If today were my last day I'd like to have enjoyed the simplicity and just being together with my boys without an agenda.  What are you doing today?  Leave me a comment let me know that your here.

I have arrived in North Carolina :D.  I'm sorry that I have not posted much about our packing and getting ready and then getting here but things were really crazy.  We were quite surprised at how much was left in the house even though we thought we were done with most of the packing things just kept crawling out of the cracks!  By the time we had both of our families stuff on the semi...we had filled it!  How embarrassing!  We thought we would have only filled it half way but nope.  In our defense it was both families things and all eleven people's bikes and the yard tools.  Lets also not forget to mention the quad, pocket bikes, and go cart.  We also loaded up all our trees hehe.  We hope they make it out here we had just bought them this past summer so we weren't willing to let them go!  We headed out on Sunday about 2:30 pm way later than we thought we would. It felt like we were all packed up for a vacation I know that sounds crazy but looking around our empty house it still didn't feel real to us.  We all caravaned our way out and didn't make it to far all the loading and packing for two days began to wear on us and we were at a hotel just four hours down the road.  We would drive for as far as ten hours would take us and we would stop at a hotel after that every day.  We had driven as far as we could and were in Texas all the hotels several towns over had filled but we found one that was available so we pulled in.  It looked really old and we were a little concerned so we sent my hubby in to look at the rooms.  He came back to let us know that the people were unfriendly and the rooms were small but they were clean.  We all piled out of the cars and my dad parked the semi on the side road were they had told him to.  We had all brought our stuff up and sent the boys off in search of dinner it was around ten at night.  The girls had gotten the dogs out of the car and were taking them to the bathroom when the owners wife saw them and became quite angry with us.  Here is where some explaining it in order.  Every hotel we stayed at we could have brought the dogs in for a fee of ten dollars a dog but we had four with us so we alternated who would sleep in the car or semi with them for a night.  At this hotel we had gotten use to doing that so we didn't even mention that we had dogs after all they didn't go into the hotel and we scooped our poop so no need right?  We also mentioned that we had eight people people because some sleep in the van and/or semi also not something we thought they had to know right?  Well the lady freaked out at us saying we lied and had to many people and animals and how would she pay her bills.  We tried to explain to her what we were doing over and over and how many people would be in the room but she wouldn't have any of it she just said we were bad people and kicked us out.  We felt bad for not having told them since they obviously wanted to know but again didn't see why they had too.  (It was no wonder the hotel was empty even though every hotel several cities over were full except one more..)  We found the next hotel who luckily just had a company pull out and two rooms available phew.  We took the time to explain what was going on this time and they looked at us like why would we care and told us it didn't matter (just like we thought hehe)  Anyways that was a long night we finally just had cold cereal because nothing was open by the time we found this hotel.  The next day was my birthday which no one remembered and I was sad :( when we pulled into a hotel that night my hubby and I went for a drive to find dinner and I told him he was in trouble he couldn't for the life of him think why.  When he finally got it he apologized and bought me some Oreo Cakesters and my family all sung happy birthday to me.  It was Friday afternoon when we finally pulled into our new home and began to unpack.  (I know not much of a break huh).  That night my brother arrived from Florida with a few friends and we spent the next day unloading the truck. 

We have kept quite busy trying to get our house in order it is a lot smaller than we were led to believe but it is nice.  Our neighbors are all college kids so every weekend we are surrounded by partiers but luckily they are pretty good about being respectful.  I am missing our fenced in backyard we now have to take our dogs out every time and with little dogs that can be a lot.  We also have to have the time to sit outside with the kids so that they can play which makes outside time a lot less.  I really miss just letting them out to play.  We also haven't put up their swing set yet so we only have a few toys and their bikes.  I think they really like it though.  We went to the beach twice now and Pumpkin says he loves the sand...not the water the sand.  Randomly he will announce to us that he loves the sand lol.  The other boys really liked swimming and collecting seashells.  We also make some sand castles and buried the boys in the sand.  It was really warm the first week we were here this week however has been chilly but still not bad at all.  For Halloween we trick or treated at the mall, went to a church festival and went trick or treating around a block in a local neighborhood.  Pumpkin thought a haunted house we stopped at was cool as were leaving I couldn't find him because he stayed behind to look at it all!  The family there thought the kids were the cutest.  Monkey was to scared to even get candy so I had to drag him and help him (it really wasn't that scary and the people were really nice they even removed their masks and stepped back so he could get some) after Pumpkin stayed back though Monkey went back in and became more brave (hey if little brother can do it so can he right?).  They were surprised at how empty the streets were just like I was for a bit there I thought maybe they went out later or I was in the wrong spot but they thought maybe it was because it had rained earlier.  I felt bad that they put in so much work and not many had shown up.  I think my little ones made it better for them because it took me forever to get them away they were ooing and awwing over everything!  In case your wondering our little men were baseball players and Pumpkin was a cowboy.

This brings us up to today.  We went to our first MOPS group out here (I have really missed going!)  I was really nervous and unsure but the ladies were really great and I just loved spending the time with them.  I can't wait to go back next time.  They invited me to a couponing class for the ladies there on Friday so I am hoping to go to that (more for social than anything I really don't coupon I should but I get embarrassed taking up the time to pull them out and have them scan them etc. but who knows maybe this will get me into it).  Tomorrow I will go out for our first park day with the homeschool group here in town and Friday we will go see their Co-op classes in action.  Tonight we will be going to church at the one down the street.  They told me on Sunday they they have hand bells and chorus for the little ones and I think they would really enjoy that.  As of yet I haven't picked a church and will do a little bit more shopping around for the one I am suppose to be at.  It's one of those things that you just know when your home you know?

The fall colors are really beautiful.  The whole area is beautiful!  Did I mention that the people here are so nice?  It actually weirds out my hubby being a CA born and raised boy, to see how the east people are.  He's liking it but it is weird for him.  He was asking people in the store where something was and they walked him over to it and told him all about it much better than the it's somewhere over there response we use to get.  No offense to those in CA but if you come over here you will really feel the difference.

Thats it for now pictures will come soon I hope you all are doing well and had a great Halloween!

In Love,

Noelle