This post is written with just some quick thoughts on the loss of my uncles I did not write to deeply because I had written out a great and long post just after the funeral and it was erased never to be seen again.  I also believe that most of a funerals going ons are private and not for display but I wanted to acknowledge the loss and my feelings see here is my quick run down of my loss.

I lost my Uncle Dean and it was awful.  I went to Michigan to his funeral at the end of June.  I was a three day race to get there before the funeral.  We stopped one night and slept for three hours the next night we slept for one and then we were off again.  We arrived exhausted and yet still ready to see our family.  It was an emotion roller coaster ride.  I was so happy to be seeing my family that I hadn't seen in so long and yet so sad to have to say good bye to my uncle who was so young.  He was only 54.  This was all coming on the heels of losing my other Uncle Dean who died in a motorcycle crash a few years ago.  I wasn't able to go to his funeral because of money and I have regretted it ever since.  I felt the holes as I looked about my family and in a depressed manner wondered at who would be gone before I got to see them again.  Although I know that our family has not always gotten along with each other or seen eye to eye on lots of things I do know that I love them and I do want to spend some more time with them.  I looked at all my cousins and aunts children and wished that I knew them and felt comfortable around them.  When I say roller coaster that's what I mean.  There didn't seem to be a let up of emotional changes.  The actual funeral was the worst I could not stop crying all I could think of was what it was doing to his family and what they were all going to do.  You can't fill a whole that's as big as a family member it'll always be there even when the edges get softer it's still there.  I watched my cousins children sob and cried for them too.  They are going to miss their grandpa and previously I had never really thought to much on how it would affect them I should have.  The loss of both of my uncle's is not a small one they were great men and deeply loved.  I was blessed for having had them while I did and wished that I could have spent more time with them.  May you both rest in peace and I hope to see you on the other side.